HAVE YOU CRAPPED YOUR PANTS?
WE NEED TO KNOW ABOUT IT!

when i was 6, i was in my brothers friend’s basement and they made me laugh so hard the smallest turd slide out of my tushy, so i had to sit with a dingle berry in my pants till i got home because i was too embarrassed to tell my brothers friend’s mom

My mom took my brother and I on a trip to Leadville Colorado when I was little to go drive through the mountains in our Jeep. Needless to say, there wasn’t anywhere to properly poop and I thought I could hold it in when we were making our descent down the mountain range after taking pictures. Before you know it, a simple fart being held in by my weak anus turned into a powerful stream of diarrhea that made the car smell like 7am after a sad bachelors party. Had to clean up in a Walmart bathroom, threw everything away; got a grilled cheese.

Drive-in movie, parked in the absolute furthest parking spot from the restroom. Movie had JUST started. Attempted the speed walk. Was on a first date.

I was waiting for the bus in a snow storm for a while before realizing the busses were canceled due to weather. It was 2am, I was drunk, and I had a one hour walk home in front of me. I reeeally had to poo but nothing was open, so my only choice was to walk as fast as I could and hope to make it home without incident. I hustled hard and was making good time, but things got interesting about 10 minutes from home when I began groundhogging with every step. I fought as hard as I could to keep it tight down there, but with the constant movement of my legs I knew exactly what was in store. I picked up my pace to try and mitigate the damage, but with the increase in speed I knew the flood gates wouldn't hold. So now I'm running at full speed, in a blizzard, drunk, and I start shitting myself. I'm laughing, I'm crying, I'm gagging, and I'm question my life choices. I finally make it to my front door. I open it up and run to the bathroom fully clothed. I try and hover over the toilet and empty my trousers without making too much of a mess while simultaneously finishing the deed. I then crack a beer and climb into the shower fully clothed with my pants still at my ankles and have a long hot shower. I threw out my underwear and tossed the rest of my outfit into the laundry to get rid of the evidence. I have never told anyone this story.

All the washrooms were occupied and as I waited for someone to leave I stood still and shit on my favourite cow onesie. I think that’s when I broke into consciousness for the first time

First time at Summer Camp, first time being constipated. On the fourth day walking to the mess hall I had to step aside and shit my shorts while people walked by. Never got to eat, but have never been so painfully relieved.

i don’t have a good poop my pants story but i pissed my pants two years in a row at osheaga

6 years old, playing Zelda on a gameboy attached to a counter at a Zellers. Kid brain was like “yeah just shit in your overalls and keep playing, no one will be mad” I was wrong, they were mad.